"The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side"

Hi, my lovelies.

If you're reading this, welcome.

I built Read Unfiltered Stories because I wanted to create a place where people could say the things they usually keep to themselves. The thoughts that don't make it onto Instagram. The feelings that don't fit into a caption.

Maybe someone will read a story here and think, "I'm not the only one."

Sometimes that's enough.

Yesterday was my first time watching the Fourth of July fireworks in New York.

And I loved every second of it.

Standing there, surrounded by thousands of people, watching the sky light up, I couldn't stop thinking about little me. The girl who used to watch these fireworks through a screen from thousands of miles away.

It felt surreal that something I had only imagined for years had finally become my reality.

For a few hours, life felt beautiful.

But then the fireworks ended.

And strangely, I wasn't sad because the show was over.

I was sad because I had to go home.

The little escape I had found was over, and I had to return to the reality I had been trying so hard not to think about.

I wasn't ready.

So instead of going home, I walked to a nearby park. It was almost empty.

I sat there quietly, looking at the tall buildings glowing against the night sky.

There was this heaviness in my chest that I couldn't explain.

My eyes filled with tears, and honestly, I didn't even know why I was crying.

I just knew I wasn't okay.

If it hadn't started raining, I probably would've stayed there much longer.

I've spent a lot of time asking myself why I felt that way.

Maybe it's because I feel stuck.

Like my life has been paused while everyone else keeps moving forward.

Every morning starts the same.

Searching for jobs.

Sending applications.

Refreshing my email.

Hoping today will be different.

Then another rejection arrives.

Or worse.

Nothing arrives at all.

You're trying everything you possibly can, yet somehow it still feels like you're standing in the exact same place.

I wanted to call my mom.

I wanted to cry and tell her how exhausted I was.

But I know my mother.

If she heard me cry, she would worry far more than I ever could.

So I stayed quiet.

I carried the weight alone.

That night, I couldn't sleep.

I kept asking myself questions that probably many of us have asked before.

How can I enjoy life when nothing seems to be going right?

Does it ever get better?

At some point, I picked up my phone and started uploading videos from the fireworks.

I wrote captions like:

"Best days of my life."

"Having the time of my life."

People commented things like, "I love your life."

And I smiled.

Because if only they knew.

Social media captures moments.

It doesn't capture the tears that happened an hour later.

It doesn't show the loneliness.

It doesn't show the uncertainty, the rejection emails, the homesickness, or the nights spent wondering whether everything will eventually work out.

That's why they say the grass is always greener on the other side.

We look at someone else's highlight reel and assume they've figured life out, while we're quietly fighting battles no one else can see.

The truth is, everyone is carrying something.

Some people just hide it better than others.

If you're reading this while feeling stuck, lost, or like life isn't moving as quickly as you'd hoped, I want you to know something.

You're not behind.

You're not failing.

And you're definitely not alone.

Maybe one day we'll look back at this chapter and realize it wasn't the end of our story. It was simply the part where we kept going, even when we couldn't see what was waiting ahead.

Until then, we'll keep showing up.

One day at a time.

With love,

A stranger on the internet who's figuring life out too.